A Bunny

Look at that!
Your safety Plush Toy
has landed into rest.
You said “I don’t need it”
and my heart started to ache.

Do you know how many times
we’ve tried to de-attach you
from this broken and fainted bunny?
so many times! It was so funny!
Her eyes were stitched up.
The nose, well, not there anymore.
The pink colour has faded
into a weird grey tone.

Do you know how many nights
we talked about buying you
a different Bunny Plush
more clean, less broken?

We failed with our strategies:
you loved all your plushes
but at bedtime you always looked
for that pink broken Bunny.

You hugged her.
You sang to her.
You threw it up in the air.
You played tea with her.

You fought your sister about her.
You said it was your bunny,
and when we told you
that it was ok to give it away
my heart broke when you said:
“But, mum, what if at night I’m scared?
Who would hug me, who would be there?”
and I capitulated:
I let you sleep with your lovely bunny again.

But tonight,
no warning,
nor preparation,
with point black expression
very proud of yourself
you told me
“I don’t need her, mum,
I am a big girl today”
.
.
.
So here I am,
late at night
thinking of you
and how you’ve grown.

Thinking of you
and how outside it’s the World.

Thinking of you
worrying about the future
because you are growing quickly
and the world is changing suddenly,
and I fear I won’t be able to catch up
to protect you,
to explain to you,
to tell you: slow down!
We are in lockdown!
Calm your growth
I’m not ready to let you go…

I know, to much drama to soon,
you are only 4 years old!.
But the world is unrecognisable.
I don’t know it anymore.
And you are growing fast,
so my only chance
to make you able to face it up
is by teaching you about OUR GOD…
You see? HE is in charge.

-I sight-

He IS in charge.

Yes, you are in good hands.
You are in His lovingly hands.

God bless you, my sweet child.

Love,

Your mum.
.
.
.
Liza, a Maronite Mum

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